Rick and Morty Season 3 Episode 1 Script
by Dangrohs
Summary: My version of the season premiere episode of season 3


"Rick And morty season 3 Episode 1: 'No one puts rick in the corner'"

By

[Author Name]

[Street Address]

[City, ST ZIP Code]

[phone]

[email]

Int. Smith Household - Day

***It's been a few months since the Smith family has returned to Earth without Rick, who is currently locked up in the Galactic Federation's maximum security prison. Jerry has begun work as a coat hanger at a fancy hotel. Beth has resorted to drinking, becoming numb to the fact that Rick has, as she believes, abandoned her once again. Summer and Morty are about to start going back to school.

Morty and Summer are sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast when Jerry walks in.

Jerry

(Enthusiastically)

Good morning, Morty, Summer! Are you two excited for your first day of school?

Summer

Calm down, Dad, it's not that big of a deal.

jerry

Oh, come on! How often do you get to go to school with aliens?

morty

We've gotten used to them by now, Dad. They behave just like us, you know? E-e-except that they're aliens.

Morty looks outside to see two Gromflomites passing each other on the sidewalk. A slimy, green ball with suction cups falls from one Gromflomite. The other picks it up and returns it.

Gromflomite

Whoops, you dropped your Shmeezle.

The second Gromflomite takes it back and puts it back in his spine.

Gromflomite #2

(Chuckling)

Oh! I'm so embarrassed.

jerry

Right. Well, I should be going, don't want to be late for work!

Jerry walks out the door and is seen driving off.

summer

Why does he have to say that every morning?

morty

I think it's good that he's got something to be excited about, you know?

summer

Doesn't it seem a little odd that Dad has been the happiest we've seen him ever since Grandpa Rick got arrested?

morty

I don't know, Summer, I say we just enjoy it. I mean how often do we support him on anything, you know?

summer

I guess you're right, remember when he taped Jeopardy and memorized the answers so that he would look smart when we all watched it the next day?

morty

Yeah, but he accidentally used his and Mom's wedding video instead.

summer

And then he lost the tape before we could watch it.

morty

I say we just mind our own business, Summer.

summer

What about about Mom? She's been hammered every day since Uncle Rick got locked up. It's gross.

***Beth stumbles awake in her bed from a drunken sleep, surrounded by wine bottles and several purple stains. She slips into a series of flashbacks showing her as a young girl, doing activities with Rick, but in every scene, Rick vanishes into thin air, leaving young Beth crying. Beth is back in her bed, passed out.

***Jerry is in the car on the way to work, listening to the radio.

Radio Dj

Welcome back, we've got some great Gromflomite classics coming your way! Let's take some requests from callers right now! Caller number one, what would you like to hear?

Caller

(Urgent)

Please, I think I can hear someone trying to break into my house!

Radio dj

(Chuckles)

Excellent, do you have a song for us, Caller?

caller

Oh God! He's in the house! He's coming up the stairs!

Radio Dj

(Hangs up)

Sorry about that folks, our call number is 912, so we get a lot of calls from people in danger. Alright, next caller! You're on the air.

caller

HE'S STABBING!

Radio dj

We need to get that number changed.

Jerry pulls into a parking lot and walks through the doors of a nice hotel, greeting several people cheerfully as he walks in. He takes his coat off and hangs it over his forearm, stretching his arms out to the side, standing still. A man walks by and hangs his coat on Jerry's face.

Jerry lets out a gratifying exhale.

***A wide shot on the Galactic prison is shown. Cries of pain can be heard from prisoners. Rick is seen in his pod prison, clearly annoyed. A hovering robot lunch lady is going from prisoner to prisoner, feeding each one spoonful's of an orange mush substance. She moves on to Rick.

robot lunch lady

Open up, here comes the airplane. Vroom.

Rick spits on the Robot.

Robot lunch lady

Whoopsie.

The Robot aggressively shoves the food into Rick's mouth and moves on. Rick recovers and looks around at the other prisoners, then spots another robot floating past in the distance. Rick's eyes get big as he notices it looks somewhat like Morty. The robot hovers away and Rick sighs, returning to deadpan.

***Morty walks through the halls and sees several Gromflomites walking past him with books in hand. He enters his class and spots a seat next to Jessica, but before he can get close enough, a Gromflomite takes the seat and begins chatting with Jessica. He lets out a sigh and sketches away at a drawing of him and Rick.

***Morty walks into his house after school, slouching, dumping his backpack on the stairs. He walks into the garage (Rick's Laboratory) and looks at the untouched gadgets and tools. He opens a large locker to see Dufus Rick, standing motionless.

morty

AHH! Dufus Rick? What are you doing in there?

dufus rick

I chased a bug in here a couple of weeks ago and I think it locks from the outside.

morty

Oh, um, ok, well…

Morty slowly closes the door back up with Dufus Rick still inside.

He starts handling a few gadgets and presses the trigger on one gadget, sending marbles all over the floor. Confused he continues looking and sees Rick's teleportation gun. He begins to think of saving Rick.

Morty

No!

He reluctantly submits and tucks the portal gun, along with the marble gun, into his belt, leaving through the same door he came in.

***Jerry walks in the front door after work. He sees Morty walking past him.

jerry

(Cheery)

Morty! Let's go play some catch! Or maybe we can throw the disk around?

morty

It's called a Frisbee Dad, and I can't… I'm leaving right now.

jerry

Where are you going that's so important you can't play catch with your own Dad?

morty

I'm going to save Rick.

jerry

What!?

summer

What!?

morty

I have to! I can't stand these monster things living on Earth anymore. Plus, I miss Rick.

jerry

We all miss him, son. But there's no way he's coming back. He did some bad things and now he's paying the price. He deserves whatever is coming to him.

summer

Yeah, Morty. Even if you manage to find Grandpa Rick, you couldn't get him out of that prison.

morty

Well I've got to try.

Jerry watches as Morty makes a portal appear right outside on the front porch.

jerry

(Dramatically)

Then I'm going with you.

Morty looks back.

morty

(Hesitant)

Oh, uh, that's okay, Dad, really.

Jerry

If you're doing this than I am as well. It'll be a nice way for us to bond together as father and son!

morty

Fine, Dad. Let's go then, I guess.

Morty reluctantly trudges into the portal, while Jerry happily trots in.

***Rick is seen in his jail pod talking with the muscular, hulk-like prisoner in the pod next to him.

rick

Ha-HA! Hold on, listen to this one.

Rick farts loudly and laughs. The prisoner next to him doesn't laugh.

rick

(Sarcastically)

Wow, a real stone-faced killer.

People around Rick's pod begin to complain about the smell.

rick

Oh right, we're in prison, how rude of me.

***Jerry and Morty appear just outside of the galactic prison walls, ducking behind a rock, looking at the massive, alien-looking structure. They notice an entry gate into the prison in the distance.

Morty

We've got to get in there somehow.

jerry

How do we do that?

morty

Rick's usually the one who comes up with the plans! I'm not good at this stuff!

Jerry stands up and looks at his own body up and down.

jerry

I've got an idea.

***Jerry is seen standing at the entrance gate with his coat over his face and his arms stretched out. A large group of gromflomites travel in through the gates and Jerry and Morty quickly slip through. They reach the inside and shed the clothing.

morty

Wow! I can't believe that worked! That was a great idea, Dad!

jerry

(Confident)

Yeah, well, that's how I planned it. I thought of it, and executed it to perfection.

morty

You sure did, Dad!

jerry

No mistakes, just precision.

Morty

Uh-huh, that's great, Dad.

jerry

Always knew I had it in me.

morty

(Walking away)

Okay, Dad.

Jerry continues to talk himself up as they walk out of screen,

***Summer is back at the house sitting on the couch, texting. Beth walks into the room groggily.

beth

Where is everyone?

summer

Oh, Dad and Morty went to go save Grandpa Rick from prison.

beth

They what?!

***Jerry and Morty are lurking through the halls of the prison, dodging in and out of corners to hide from passing guards. They hear some guards yelling in a room next to them.

Gromflomite guard

I don't even know why they needed us today, I had stuff around the house I could've been doing!

Jerry and Morty sneak past the guards when they're not looking. Morty quietly grabs the keys from the guards belt.

morty

Look, Dad!

Morty points to an enormous, lighted entrance at the end of the hallway.

morty

That might be where Rick is!

Morty and Jerry run to the light and see the massive amount of pods holding each prisoner lined up next to each other for what looks like miles. Morty spots Rick.

morty

Dad, it's Rick! He's over there!

Another guard notices them.

guard

Stop! Get them!

Morty and Jerry begin running up the aisle of podded prisoners with guards shooting at their heels.

jerry

We've got to do something, fast!

Morty looks down at his belt and takes out the marble gun. He points and fires backwards, sending marbles flying towards the guards. Rick notices Jerry and Morty running.

rick

Woah. I must really be going crazy if I'm hallucinating Jerry too.

Jerry trips momentarily

rick

He's real! JERRY! Morty!

Jerry and Morty stop and look up at Rick, who is flailing crazily. Morty and Jerry are facing the oncoming guards with nowhere to turn.

rick

PRESS IT AGAIN!

morty

What?

rick

PRESS THE TRIGGER AGAIN!

Morty takes the marble gun and presses the trigger one more time, this time, a table of Girl Scout's appears in front of all the guards, stopping them in their tracks.

Morty and Jerry climb up the wall of podded prisoners, apologizing along the way as they come upon Rick.

Morty

What was that, Rick? Why are there Girl Scouts?

rick

That's my Inconvenience Gun, Morty. You shoot the marbles and they turn into something inconvenient, I've never actually tested it out so I'm glad it works. Were you going through my stuff?! Not cool.

morty

I'm sorry Rick, I needed to save you. They're going to blow up Earth!

Rick

Oh boy.

jerry

Look, Rick, we need to find a way out of here now! There could be more of those guards coming any minute!

rick

(Sarcastically)

Thank god you're here, Jerry, I was hoping someone would come by and get me killed.

morty

Here, Rick, use the portal gun and we can get out of here!

rick

You don't get it, Morty, my portal gun won't work inside here. This place is specifically designed for people like me not to escape.

morty

People like you? Well, what do we do then?

jerry

I've got an idea.

***Rick, Morty, and Jerry are all standing by the entrance of the galactic prison door with clothes hung over their faces and arms stretched out. A group of Gromflomites march by, leaving the prison.

The three begin to take off the clothes and slip out the open door to the outside.

rick

Good thinking, Jerry, it was a long shot but it worked.

jerry

(Confident)

Yep, sometimes ideas just come to me.

morty

(To rick)

Don't encourage him.

rick

Morty, hand me the portal gun.

Morty hands Rick the portal gun.

jerry

Push that button and let's go home!

rick

You guys didn't mess with my stuff right? Everything will be back the way I left it?

morty

They took your hover car.

rick

What?! Where is it at?

morty

It's at the impound on Earth, but you won't be able to get to it, they've got Gromflomites working everywhere.

rick

I've got a lot of stuff in there that could harm or help a lot of people….mostly harm. Let's go.

Rick makes a portal appear and jumps into it, followed by Jerry and then Morty.

***Beth and Summer are sitting on the couch, drinking wine, clearly drunk.

beth

You know, I don't even care. He just, he just leaves whenever he pleases.

summer

Mom, he's like, your Dad. He's also a drunk, and a liar, and a thief, but he's also your Dad. Just like Jerry is my Dad…ew.

beth

You know what, I don't care if he ever comes back, to be honest.

summer

Don't think like that, it's not healthy!

Beth falls over, hitting her face on the coffee table.

***Rick, Morty, and Jerry hop out of a portal and inside the impound lot. They spot the hover car and pile in.

jerry

Alright, we got the car, now let's just go home and be done with us all this!

rick

Not yet, Jerry. I need to make a stop before we go home.

***Inside a convenience store on Earth, quiet, elevator music is playing and no customers are around. Suddenly, Rick's hover car crashed through the side of the convenient store. Rick calmly gets out, grabs a bottle of alcohol and walks back to the hover car.

rick

(To the employee)

I'm not paying for this.

The hover car door closes and leaves from the convenient store.

rick

Now we can go home.

morty

But Rick the whole planet is run by the Gromflomites! There's no way we can get there now that they know you escaped.

A swarm of Gromflomite hover cars and helicopters appears behind them. Rick takes another swig of his drink.

Rick

Oh yeah, high speed chase!

Rick dodges and twists to avoid multiple shots from the Gromflomite's closing in on them.

***Beth and summer are still drunk on the couch, this time waching tv when the channel cuts to breaking news of the high speed chase.

news reporter

We interrupt your scheduled programing for some breaking news. An escaped convict from the Galactic federal prison has escaped today, Rick Sanchez and two other unidentified members are currently evading capture.

summer

Grandpa Rick!

beth

(Looking hopeful)

Where are they?

summer

They look close! Oh my god, they're right down the street! They're coming here!

***Rick races down the street, dodging passerbys and other cars, before finally pulling into the smith's garage and closing it.

jerry

They followed us all the way here, Rick! We're screwed! They're waiting outside to bust in and take us all to that alien prison!

Beth and Summer burst into the garage.

summer

Grandpa Rick!

beth

Jerry what's going on?

A voice from outside the garage can be heard.

Gromflomite police

Come out in 10 seconds or we're busting in!

Jerry

We have to do something now!

summer

Are they going to arrest us all?

jerry

Probably, honey.

gromflomite police

5 seconds!

Rick

Ah! Will everyone shut up so I can think!

Morty looks over to the locker and sees Dufus Rick's eyes still amongst the dark inside.

Gromflomite police

We're coming in!

The Gromflomite's bust in and find everyone huddled together, frightened, except Rick. Rick is nowhere to be seen.

Jerry

Where did Rick go?

beth

He must've left again. Just like he always does, he couldn't help himself!

Gromflomite police

Where is Rick Sanchez?

morty

I can tell you where he is, but I want something in return.

gromflomite police

We don't have time for games, son!

morty

He's the most wanted criminal in the universe, I can't imagine what they'll do to you if you guys don't leave here with Rick. I'll give you Rick, but you and your whole alien people have to leave Earth.

gromflomite police

Alright kid, just show us where Rick is.

Morty walks over to the locker and opens it slightly. Dufus Rick falls out, Morty helps him back up.

gromflomite police

There he is, get him boys.

The Gromflomite's cuff Dufus Rick and take him away.

jerry

Wha-… how long has Dufus Rick been in our garage?!

The Gromflomite's drive away with Dufus Rick. Rick walks out of the locker next.

summer

Grandpa Rick, you're back!

jerry

How did you-…

rick

Morty's a smart kid, and thanks to Dufus Rick for taking my place and rotting in that prison forever. He was totally fine with it too, I barely had to convince him while we were in there.

Jerry's eyes fill up with tears as he hears about Dufus Rick.

Rick notices Beth, arms folded, looking off into the distance.

rick

Hey, uh, I'm probably not going to be leaving again anytime soon.

beth

You didn't even tell us why you left.

rick

It was the best thing to do for everyone. I'm home now?

beth

But how do I know you won't just leave again?

rick

You don't, but does it mean anything if I say I don't want to leave again?

beth

No… but it makes me feel a little better.

rick

Oh yeah! Reconnecting with my daughter! By the way there was a lot of feces in that locker.

The end

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FAde Out:

The End


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